Lesson two - uncover your core beliefs
What makes us procrastinate on some tasks while eagerly completing others? It's a puzzling behavior that many of us grapple with everyday. In this lesson, we're going to explore the core beliefs that drive you to procrastinate some tasks but not others .
In lesson one, you learned that the crux of why we procrastinate is to avoid fleeting moments of discomfort. When we think about starting certain tasks, we experience sudden, often unconscious, flashes of discomfort. To alleviate this discomfort, we create rationalizations for avoiding the task—almost instantaneously.
This cycle repeats itself dozens of times every day: thinking about a task, feeling discomfort, and then crafting a rationalization to alleviate that discomfort. So why do specific tasks make us so uncomfortable that our minds recoil from confronting them?
The answer isn't as simple as you might expect. Certain tasks make us uncomfortable due to our core beliefs, which stem from various life experiences. For instance, many of us have the core belief that stealing is wrong and thieves will face punishment—a message drummed into us from a young age. So, if you were asked to steal something from a store, chances are you'd feel extremely uncomfortable. This initial discomfort results from your core belief that thieves will be punished. This belief is probably helpful—it keeps you out of trouble. However, not all beliefs are beneficial. Some deter us from accomplishing things we genuinely want to do!
I personally struggle with an unhelpful belief that makes tasks such as responding to emails or preparing presentations feel incredibly daunting. To decipher this belief, we need to journey back to my upbringing. Coming from a family with impossibly high standards, the pressure to be flawless grew to be a big part of my procrastination habit.
An early life incident that contributed to my unhelpful beliefs involved doing household chores. I vividly recall a particular Sunday afternoon from my childhood. I was in the process of completing the last item on my list—sweeping the large outdoor space of my family home. I remember feeling overwhelmed at the thought of sweeping the entire yard, which always seemed like an insurmountable task. To bring a little fun to the monotonous task, I would walk around the backyard attempting to balance the broom on my palm.
So, on this particular Sunday, after hours of sweeping, I collected the final pile of dirt, tossed it into the trash, and called over my Dad to show him the finished task. He paused whatever he was doing, walked out to the backyard, and slowly scanned the yard with his eyes while I anxiously anticipated his response. I felt anxious because I knew what was to follow.
After a brief inspection, a look of dissatisfaction crossed my Dad's face. He began pointing out the tiny specks of dirt I had overlooked, he took the broom from my hands and demonstrated how to meticulously sweep a corner of the yard until it was impeccably clean. Handing the broom back to me, he asked me to finish the job.
In that moment, I was consumed by a sense of overwhelm and dread. The thought of re-sweeping the entire yard to meet an unattainable standard seemed futile. It felt as though the finish line had been shifted miles away, so far beyond the horizon that trying anymore was pointless.
That memory and the accompanying sense of being overwhelmed carved a niche in my mind. It sowed the seeds for one of the unhelpful core beliefs that still fuels my procrastination. The dread I experienced when my Dad returned the broom and asked me to "try again" is the same dread that prompts me to procrastinate replying to emails. Now, however, I have replaced my Dad's judgment with my own. I have one of the six unhelpful beliefs that instigate procrastination: a fear of judgment.
Just like my Dad did, I pressure myself to achieve an impossibly high standard of perfection. I convince myself that unless the yard is swept flawlessly, it isn't worth trying. I tell myself that emails have to be perfectly worded, or they aren't worth sending. Any task that involves the possibility of evaluation is a struggle for me, and I put it off until I can do it perfectly.
My procrastination serves as a self-defense mechanism. By avoiding these tasks, I avoid the risk of failure or disapproval. In a strange way, my procrastination is an act of self-compassion. I am protecting my anxious and overwhelmed eight-year-old inner child from judgment.
It was not until I began acknowledging my unhelpful beliefs that things started to change. I had never paused to question what might happen if I were to perform a task imperfectly. Once I began identifying and scrutinizing these unhelpful beliefs, my procrastination habits started to shift.
As it turns out, my 'fear of judgment' is just one of the six core beliefs that commonly spur procrastination. If you're a chronic procrastinator, you likely have at least one of these six unhelpful core beliefs:
Fear of judgment: feeling the need to do things perfectly.
Need for control: needing to be the one making decisions.
Need for pleasure: the belief that fun should always come first.
Fear of uncertainty: needing to know what lies ahead.
Intolerance of low energy: believing that you can't do things when you're feeling fatigued or unmotivated.
Lack of self-confidence: feeling incapable or inadequate.
To overcome your procrastination habits, it's really important to understand which of these beliefs are driving your behavior. To help you do that, in lesson two of Doer we have designed a questionnaire to reveal your unhelpful core beliefs.
Your results will show you a breakdown of your core beliefs and give you more information to help you understand how they are driving your procrastination. I encourage you to really reflect on your results. If you’re comfortable, share them with someone you trust. The process of explaining your unhelpful core beliefs and their impact on your procrastination will solidify your understanding.
Be warned, this is a "red pill" moment. Once you’re aware of the unhelpful beliefs driving your procrastination, you can’t unsee them. You'll start to see your own procrastination in a whole new light. The amazing thing is, as you start to notice the thoughts associated with your unhelpful beliefs, they begin to loosen their grip on you. Very often simply noticing them can get you unstuck when you’re procrastinating.
You may even start questioning certain thoughts. If you do, that's fantastic! However, you don’t have to. To begin with, your goal should simply be to build your awareness of the beliefs driving your procrastination. In later lessons, we'll guide you through strategies for challenging these unhelpful beliefs. For now, all you need to do is recognize them.
So, let's recap what we've learned so far. In the first lesson, we discovered that procrastination is a strategy for coping with the discomfort associated with specific tasks. In this lesson, we learned that the discomfort arises from the activation of our unhelpful core beliefs. Procrastination persists when we're unaware of or never challenge unhelpful beliefs. Simply noticing your unhelpful beliefs and the thoughts associated with them, loosens their grip on you.
Key ideas:
Procrastination is a strategy for coping with the discomfort associated with specific tasks. Some tasks cause discomfort because they activate our unhelpful core beliefs.
There are six unhelpful core beliefs commonly drive procrastination:
Fear of judgment: feeling the need to do things perfectly.
Need for control: needing to be the one making decisions.
Need for pleasure: the belief that fun should always come first.
Fear of uncertainty: needing to know what lies ahead.
Intolerance of low energy: believing that you can't do things when you're feeling fatigued or unmotivated.
Lack of self-confidence: feeling incapable or inadequate.
Becoming aware of the unhelpful core beliefs contributing to your procrastination is key to changing your behavior.
This article is an adaptation of the second audio lesson of Doer: the science-based guide to overcoming procrastination. For good! Discover the root cause of your procrastination and start mastering the skill of accomplishing important tasks by downloading "Doer" today!
