Lesson seven - manage discomfort

We all know that feeling when we sit down to do something important. You have everything you need, the conditions are perfect, and yet, you still find yourself drifting onto other tasks. What’s happening here? And how can we avoid it?

In this lesson, you’ll learn the skill of managing discomfort in order to complete difficult tasks.

As you've learned in previous lessons, when we think about doing certain tasks, we experience sudden, often unconscious, flashes of discomfort. The mere thought of starting the task can make us feel tense, bored, overwhelmed, insecure, or inadequate. Our natural tendency is to push away those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. In the instant that we feel discomfort, we distract ourselves by scrolling on our phones or switching tasks. This habit of distracting ourselves persists because we are unable to tolerate these flashes of discomfort. We procrastinate to cope. The more we detest those feelings of discomfort, the more we procrastinate—it's a vicious cycle. So, how do you break the cycle?

This might sound strange at first, but the key to breaking this cycle is learning to accept discomfort. Once we adopt an attitude of curiosity towards our feelings and accept them as they are, the cycle stops. It's only the act of trying to avoid uncomfortable sensations that perpetuates the cycle. Now, you might be thinking, "It sounds crazy to simply accept discomfort. And also, how would you even do it?" Don’t worry, I am going to explain all of that! I will also introduce you to two simple techniques to help you tolerate moments of discomfort in order to get difficult things done.

The two techniques you’re going to learn are rooted in mindfulness meditation principles. So, before we delve into them, it helps to understand some of the basic principles of mindfulness and how our brain operates.

The first thing to know is that we are almost always lost in thought. The natural state of our mind is like a pinball machine, bouncing from one thought to the next. And when procrastinating, those thoughts are mostly negative. A procrastinating mind sounds something like this:

“Ok, I need to write this report. Ah, I don’t know what to say. I’m going to look like an idiot. I don’t even have time to think about this. This is going to be a disaster… I need to take a break.”

This kind of mind wandering generates the uncomfortable feelings that drive us to procrastinate. The antidote to unhelpful mind wandering is to focus on the present moment. But what does it actually mean to "be present"? We hear people say it all the time, but how do you genuinely do it? Being "present" means paying attention to anything that isn't a thought, such as external sights, sounds, and physical sensations. The first technique for doing this is called "riding the wave."

Riding the Wave

The basic premise behind this technique is that discomfort is always temporary. The initial flash of discomfort you feel when approaching a difficult task often lasts only a few seconds. It's like a wave that rises and then falls.

When you focus on a wave of discomfort and delay switching tasks for just a few moments, often the discomfort fades away on its own. The crux of using mindfulness to overcome procrastination is becoming aware of what these temporary waves of discomfort feel like.

When you are working on a task and you feel the urge to move onto something else—like picking up your phone—that's a hint that you're experiencing a wave of discomfort. It's a golden opportunity to observe what's happening. Seize that moment to practice a 20-second mindfulness exercise where you hone in on the feeling of discomfort. Try slowing down, taking three or four deep breaths, and identifying any sensations. The discomfort might manifest as a tightness in your throat or chest, or perhaps as a feeling of dread or worry washing over you. Whatever it is, just sit with it for a moment. Ride the wave and see if it dissipates. If it doesn't, that's perfectly okay. The aim is simply to recognize those waves each time they appear.

Each time you notice a wave of discomfort, you're strengthening your ability to tolerate discomfort. Just like weight training at the gym, change happens gradually, and each repetition makes you a tad stronger.

Grounding

The second approach to tolerating discomfort is called "grounding." This technique is particularly effective when you're feeling especially overwhelmed. Grounding involves using external cues to divert your attention away from unproductive thoughts. This can be achieved by focusing on one of your five senses—touch, taste, sight, sound, or smell.

For instance, when your mind is racing, you might bite into a lemon, concentrating on the sour sensation. Of course, it isn't always practical to have a lemon handy for every overwhelming moment. Therefore, I suggest using touch or sound. Perhaps you could sit quietly and make an effort to register every sound in your vicinity, such as distant voices, the hum of a refrigerator, or honking cars.

Alternatively, for touch, you might scan your body, trying to identify every point of contact, like the sensation of your feet on the ground or your hands resting in your lap. When you do this, your mind naturally finds a momentary calm, offering you a brief respite. This brief pause can sometimes be sufficient to break a negative thought spiral and might just eliminate the urge to procrastinate as a coping mechanism.

It’s important to note that these mindfulness techniques might not produce immediate results. As with any skill, they necessitate consistent and persistent practice. It’s generally a good idea to practice them during moments when you're feeling calm, better preparing you for times when their application is essential.

Practice

To aid your practice, unit seven of "Doer" offers you a chance to practice pausing, grounding yourself, and focusing on sensations in the here and now. It will guide you through a two-minute micro-meditation designed to enhance focus. Each time you engage in this exercise, you're honing your ability to tolerate discomfort and maintain focus, priming you to navigate waves of discomfort as they arise.

Key ideas:

• Many people experience flashes of discomfort when approaching a task, leading to procrastination as a coping mechanism.

• Breaking the cycle of procrastination requires accepting and understanding discomfort, rather than avoiding it. Our minds are naturally prone to wandering, often resulting in negative thoughts. Focusing on the present moment is an antidote to unproductive mind wandering.

• Riding the Wave Technique - Discomfort is temporary and often fades if given attention. Recognizing and observing moments of discomfort strengthens our ability to tolerate such feelings.

• Grounding Technique - Helps divert attention from negative thoughts by focusing on one of the five senses. Touch and sound are practical senses to concentrate on for immediate grounding.

This article is an adaptation of the seventh audio lesson of Doer: the science-based guide to overcoming procrastination. For good! Discover the root cause of your procrastination and start mastering the skill of accomplishing important tasks by downloading "Doer" today!